La Chanson est Claire
Based on the story told in
Unlawful Disorder: A Twist of Fate
Chapter 2
The Child and the Music
“A child sings and she calls it magic.”
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It wasn’t what Re’ne’shi said that stung. It was, Alexa reflected, that no one moved to tell her she was wrong. Alexa was certainly adult enough to be so far from home, and her magic had been powerful enough that morning that Lucas was coughing up chunks of dead lung because she had grown him a new one. La Chanson and the circlet upon her brow were more than enough proof that what she did was use magic.
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But the thought played on her mind anyway. Did the others see her as a baby, a child to be kept from walking into furniture? Was that why Chevalier was really here - not as a protector but as a sitter? Spider seemed to find the assessment hilarious, but did Lucas think the same? He certainly wanted to read Re’ne’shi’s books and learn from the Ebon elf, but did he agree?
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For someone already unsure whether she was supposed to be the one chosen for this task, having someone explicitly draw attention to her age threw her back into the courtly uncertainty she was only just beginning to find her way out of. She knew what Chevalier would say to the situation: “she doesn’t know you. She doesn’t know what you’re capable of. Don’t let her get to you.” But the others knew and left her floundering in the sickly sense that Re’ne’shi was right. For once the half-elf usually so quick with replies had none, and she didn’t like it.
As they toured the town, Alexa was quiet. The murmuring of the city was not unlike La Chanson: Try though she might, she could not make the sound fade to the back of her mind. So instead, she listened. Listened to the cadence of the Uondeerveld, listened to the song it tried to sing. Husky, muted, peaceful. It did not invite sleep or alertness, but perhaps…awareness? Re’ne’mala rolled along, babbling about some historical plaque or other while she led them around, uphill in the oppressive dark. As perplexed as she was by how long it took Re’ne’shi to learn how to use something Alexandrie did on a whim, in her household back home, age had brought wisdom - and Re’ne’shi and Re’ne’mala were both older than any of the other mortal members of the party.
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A part of her scoffed at the need to study books to connect with whoever or whatever gave her magic, but perhaps Re’ne’shi was simply a little slow to connect with the entity that entrusted her with the abilities she had. It had, after all, taken Alexa a whole year to feel as close to La Chanson as she did now, and Lucas’ experience seemed very different to hers. She made a mental note to watch very closely when Re’ne’shi used their magic. Perhaps they were just a court magician who knew sleight of hand. She had seen a lot of very talented tricksters back home. Maybe that’s what Re’ne’shi meant. That would make sense, at least.
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And did Re’ne’shi see magic, or hear it, or smell it? What did their senses tell them? The Ebon elf said they did not need to speak to cast spells…nor did Alexandrie, really. She just…didn’t have anywhere else for La Chanson to go otherwise. A lot of power ran through her when La Chanson was feeling particularly protective - the screaming and humming were a better outlet than tingling in her skin for hours after. Besides, La Chanson was the Song of the World. Surely the world deserved to hear its song at times.
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The Song of the whole world. Why was it opposed to the pantheon? And why had it been disrupted by Genofeva’s magic? And how had she found them? And why Lucas but not Spider? And what would they find of Chevalier’s past? And would Lucas and Spider stop travelling with them when they got to Cliffkeep?
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And all these thoughts crammed into her mind did not stop the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach that reminded the half-elf - the half-cloud-elf that she couldn’t see the sky. The open expanse of nothing had been replaced with the weight of the world and it was only the soothing lilt of La Chanson that kept her from dashing back to the elevating device to return her to safety. She wished she’d taken note of the positions of the stars before they’d come down here. She wished there was a way to calm the heart of a somewhat panicked, somewhat hurt, unsure, teenaged half-elf.
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Five days they would be with Re’ne’mala and Re’ne’shi. Five days was not enough time to make them believe what she was and what she was doing there. Why did she care? Why did it matter what they thought of her when they would only be taking the group to the crossroads? Not even a week and then they would be gone. She would not be on the surface, that would take more time, but…at least back to the dynamic they had before. One she was beginning to like…
The waterfall washed away thought for a moment. Just a moment, suspended above this cavern between two waterfalls almost gave her clarity. It was almost as though the constant murmuring distracted her, but the waterfall was immediate and beautiful and captivating and she could focus. It would be fine. Five days and they would be halfway through the journey. La Chanson pointed her in the direction of her goal, and peace fell upon her for a moment.
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Only a moment.
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The wet-warm of the Uondeerveld and the hum of life and thundering of waterfalls were nothing to the icy dagger Alexandrie felt at the back of her neck. How stupid - tellement stupide - to think that there was going to be an end to this journey? How stupid to consider that perhaps she could live a life unafraid of what could be to come, of what might be behind. At first she thought she’d imagined it, but La Chanson was there. No sooner had the circlet gone than someone was there, most certainly there behind her, watching. Searching? Hunting. They were being hunted. They were prey, and there was no rest for prey. Prey were skittish, prey ran. Prey always ran.
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Found. Found.
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Lucas may be alright with moving forever, but Alexa was the one feeling hated by someone or something.
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The worst part was that it didn’t feel far enough away.
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***
Just Like Home
Alexandrie understood what Re'ne'mala was saying: Focus on the here. Focus on the now. Things were dangerous down here.
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What Re'ne'mala didn’t seem to grasp was that the day before - not 24 hours earlier - they had been attacked in the middle of Glitter Delta Cove, which undoubtedly had more than the 4000 she was concerned about here. Where magic was involved, perhaps the two Ebon elves knew theory and technique, and perhaps they knew how to survive down here, but their biggest fear was still nature - and nature was random. Sometimes things just happened. Yes, she had this thought afraid to look at the blank, skyless space above her, and yes, she was easily startled, but they were afraid of something that may or may not happen.
Genofeva was actively hunting them, and she was powerful. There was a lot to keep track of without being treated like a child, or having her concerns dismissed. Re'ne'mala hadn’t seen how much blood came out of Lucas. She hadn’t watched as the others ran (or prepared to) - and even if she had - this is the life she had chosen! She trained for this. Did she even remember what it was to be afraid? To not know what to do moment to moment? To have a task given she had no choice but to do despite that fear and lack of training? And even if the answer to all that was yes, Alexa was more than capable of fearing multiple things at once.
The thought that the first thing Re'ne'mala thought she would do would be to kill on reflex stung, though it shouldn’t have. The ebon elf thought little of her anyway, and that was not new. She should perhaps have been used to people thinking little of her by now, but it still stung - as if she should have known things she could not have known. It seemed to happen a lot - people making assumptions of her, and she could neither stop it, nor could she seem to change it once it happened.
Now that she knew why Spider lied, it made a great deal of sense - even if the lying still made her uncomfortable. She didn’t know why Re'ne'shi had lied to her, but she suspected it was to make a mockery of her. Was that the same? Or was it that they had made assumptions and decided that Alexandrie needed to be brought down to her level? Based on the way others looked at their sashes, the two seemed to be perceived similarly to her in Shining Capital, so of what benefit was it to mock someone who had no reason not to trust them? All it did now was leave Alexandrie hesitant to believe anything they said. She thought she’d left the stupid subterfuge of court, but apparently it lingered longer than one of Lucas’ farts.
Things weren’t as different as they thought.
She would do, physically, as Re'ne'mala directed, but the time to relax had passed. She had a task to do, something Lucas seemed to have forgotten. Again. As wonderful as it was to see new things, she wasn’t travelling to see the world. She was travelling to do something of import. Everyone else seemed to find his behaviour entertaining, charming, but Alexa was concerned: about her own feelings and about…
It didn’t matter. It really didn’t. She sat as far away from the fire and the rest of them as she could, her fingers tracing notes on sheet music. She would have given anything to have a tree to hide in - maybe Emily to talk to. Suddenly she missed her eighth bodyguard dreadfully. She had no idea how old Emily was, but she had never spoken to Alexa the way either Ebon elf did. No one spoke to her like that except Maman, and even Maman was never that…cold? Distant? Disgusted? Despairing? The tone reminded her of someone…
Five days. Less than a month, surely to Lucas and Spider’s destination, if they hurried.
She resolved to stay quiet and simply endure the time, like a long day in court. She would not be down here forever.
It just felt like forever.
Edgewaters. That’s what Re'ne'mala’s tone reminded her of: The way Ellinora Edgewater had spoken to her.
Of course Lucas had reverted to form.
Did anything ever change? Or did it just move to new locations and repeat? Was that what she was on her way to do? Stop the repeating cycle of horrible treatment? Would it only stop for others, or her too?
It had been a very long day, and Alexandrie Donadieu was tired. Who knew whether Genofeva would try to track her through every spell, so she didn’t want to even risk creating something to keep her company. Slipping the music away, she pulled the heart-shaped glasses from her nose, folded her arms on her knees and hid her face: The closest she would get to being alone, where none of these things mattered.
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***
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But she could not sleep. Not here. Too much was different and her mind was full of thoughts. The book in her pack, for one: Re'ne'shi had loaned it to her. Full of very practical things to try to use magic, Alexandrie knew one thing immediately, as she flicked through it: If she had not been gifted La Chanson, she would not have learned to use magic. Which led to another realisation: If La Chanson left her, she would no longer use magic.
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Not because she was unintelligent and could not learn. She was stubborn enough to keep trying if she'd wanted. She simply didn't find the use of magic without connection interesting. It was as though there were people who wanted to use magic the way others might use a mallet, or play the piano, or swing a sword. Magic to those people was a tool, not a need or a calling. A pastime.
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In essence, magic to those people operated the way Lucas saw magic.
He didn't trust La Chanson, but he used it in the same way he used his weapons. To do a job.
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And yes, she'd been gifted La Chanson for a purpose, but... it was a conversation. A presence. It was there to guide her, or watch her...lead her? Something. And though she was a little upset at it at the moment for reasons she really couldn't place, she was upset at it the way she was sometimes upset at Vee, or Grandmère, or Papa or Maman. A fleeting, familial upset that was fair at the time but had been held for a little too long, losing meaning.
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What this book didn't question was where the materials were coming from. If magic could exist, something was creating it. To play the piano, someone had to build a piano - they needed to source the wood and ivory and strings... to use magic, it had to be given, or loaned. Re'ne'shi's book did not answer that question. How could they all be using mallets without knowing where the mallet came from? At least when she used La Chanson, she knew the mallet would be made of music, and would become sound creating force on the object she struck.
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If she used magic. Which, right now...she wasn't sure she should do.
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